“Ritual opens a doorway in the invisible wall that seems to separate the spiritual and the physical. The formal quality of ritual allows us to move into the space between the worlds, experience what we need, and then step back and once more close the doorway so we can return to our lives enriched.” –
Rachel Pollack, The Power of Ritual
A while ago I closed a dear friend of mine after a Miscarriage:
Deep deep waves of emotions came through. Since she is a good friend, I probably didn’t do the usual ritual to protect myself, so I was deep in the journey with her and my flesh could feel her pain and sorrow.
Honoring miscarriage through ritual can be deeply healing. My intent was to hold the space for her loss, in way that honors this experience, to thank this Life, to thank this baby:
I thank you for choosing me as your mother
My womb is humble and honored to hold and nurture you,
Thank you for visiting us, for entering our life and for giving me the most indescribable joy during this brief time together.
I honour your life
I honour your soul and your presence on this earth in this life time.
I thank you for teaching me about the deepest love and the art of let go, of let the you GO.
My heart is crying, my womb is bleeding.
Oh sweet child of mine go back to the universe and shine.
What a woman experiences through miscarriage deserves sacred honor. When I closed her bones my intention was to encourage and bring a deeper connection to her body, her baby and the universe, so that healing of this Mother could take place, when she was ready, when she is in a place to let go.
The body will heal itself whenever is in the right place to do so, we should just observe and hold the space for this. Healing hands are never in a rush, patient and empathy belong to the healer’s soul, like Midwives, we observe, without disturbing the process of Birth, and so Healing can take place.
Just as birth is honored, so too is death. To the millions of women who have experienced pregnancy loss:
I feel your pain
You are a good Mother
I hear your fears,
My heart is with you.
And so I closed her Sacred Bones.
I’ve rocked her and her baby gently in the rebozo, I’ve hugged them tight together for the last time.
This was my Friend’s thought after the ritual:
” It was a way to cuddle this baby one more time, before I let Him go, to say thank you for this time together. You never think a Miscarriage will happen to you and when it does it just devastating. During closing the bones I had the time to be happy with this baby, and to honour how much happiness brought me during this past 8 weeks. There was a feeling of calmness and stillness. And a message that my Body (not my heart, not just yet) was ready to let him go”.